I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
