i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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