when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
