I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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