i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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