***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
