if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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