do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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