she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize