Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Barsexuality is the new black.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
