I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
