and next time when you feel me up, do it right
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
