I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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