Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
