Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My bed smells like the plague
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
