batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
