I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
