He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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