he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will pee on everything he values.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
