two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize