u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
North Korea, Best Korea!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
