I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
