All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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