I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
