what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
