note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
