she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
