If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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