goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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