i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What did we do last night that was yellow?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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