is your mom at the bar?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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