and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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