every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
