Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
