they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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