i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize