stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you would pick up someone in the library
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
