my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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