Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
