Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
