I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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