We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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