How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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