a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
