Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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