Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
