tell your sister to shave her snatch
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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