Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
