So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
