Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
