I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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