I hate all girls vehemently.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
