Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
