Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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