i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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