Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize