Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
