The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
