my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
