I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
