you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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