So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize