Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
