hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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