The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
