ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
