Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You made out with two different species that night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
