You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can I color on your dick again?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
