At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
