I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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