I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
