Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can I color on your dick again?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
