My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
