and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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