the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
